i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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