someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
