Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
