I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
