you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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