fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
tell me about the eggs
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