dude i'm inner monologue high
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
