In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
