If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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