whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
