im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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