You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
