there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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