So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
