Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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