I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
