..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize