There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
