ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
