I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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