My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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