I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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