he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
