White coat. Heels.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
