So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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