I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
