This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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