best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
