he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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