I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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