Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
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Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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