i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
