Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth