Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

Anal astronaut?

(847): View more from Illinois

Wow word travels fast.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): Anal astronaut? (847): Wow word travels fast. http://tfl.nu/to7g

Replies (2) Good night (2604) Bad night (885)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar. http://tfl.nu/xuyq

Replies (33) Good night (2941) Bad night (748)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side? http://tfl.nu/sml7

Replies (97) Good night (1049) Bad night (2622)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

(224): View more from Illinois

it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool. (224): it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you. http://tfl.nu/qam8

Replies (24) Good night (856) Bad night (3692)
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests http://tfl.nu/auj5

Replies (5) Good night (1269) Bad night (2919)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car" http://tfl.nu/0yb1

Replies (7) Good night (2553) Bad night (1131)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something. http://tfl.nu/xkf6

Replies (5) Good night (2236) Bad night (760)
Favorite
(517): View more from Michigan

I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm? http://tfl.nu/cxi2

Replies (7) Good night (3644) Bad night (880)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch. http://tfl.nu/loso

Replies (8) Good night (1058) Bad night (879)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again. http://tfl.nu/lco3

Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (997)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn

Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (454)
Favorite
(707): View more from California

I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha http://tfl.nu/s6o5

Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (366)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea. http://tfl.nu/cuto

Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (667)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people. http://tfl.nu/powz

Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (358)
Favorite
(985): View more from Louisiana

How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(985): How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit. http://tfl.nu/kln2

Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (364)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard