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• (805): View more from California

  peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  If i need to get strippers involved i will.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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• (607): View more from New York

  U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

  (972): View more from Texas

  Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.

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