Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"

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  (717): I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college" http://tfl.nu/g9gr
  Replies (20) Good night (1130) Bad night (3618)
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  (516): View more from New York

  just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination

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  (516): just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination http://tfl.nu/dj79
  Replies (30) Good night (4603) Bad night (1188)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion

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  (651): The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion http://tfl.nu/8885
  Replies (12) Good night (2388) Bad night (4339)
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  (951): View more from California

  My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.

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  (951): My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit. http://tfl.nu/s2aa
  Replies (33) Good night (10767) Bad night (1468)
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  (760): View more from California

  Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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  (760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd
  Replies (24) Good night (1403) Bad night (4344)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.

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  (954): Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka. http://tfl.nu/l16y
  Replies (12) Good night (5262) Bad night (1063)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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  (513): How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last?? http://tfl.nu/wkzl
  Replies (9) Good night (1121) Bad night (2897)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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  (936): If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way. http://tfl.nu/i55j
  Replies (3) Good night (3472) Bad night (769)
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  (909): View more from California

  What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for

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  (909): What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for http://tfl.nu/e5by
  Replies (18) Good night (1778) Bad night (807)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.

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  (617): So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan. http://tfl.nu/ggx4
  Replies (11) Good night (1627) Bad night (645)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

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  (617): Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good. http://tfl.nu/gr5l
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (455)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops

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  (519): I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops http://tfl.nu/3fz9
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (349)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it

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  (443): My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it http://tfl.nu/2q57
  Replies (6) Good night (1121) Bad night (413)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?

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  (662): Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you? http://tfl.nu/ngi1
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (377)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.

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  (908): I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door. http://tfl.nu/eaki
  Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (440)

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