So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I smell stomach acid.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.