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thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
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