I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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