If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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