Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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