A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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