i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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