he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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