My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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