If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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