bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
