I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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