You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
