just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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