last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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