He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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