He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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