Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
