If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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