Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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