Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
