That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
