Yo dont text me then not text me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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