We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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