I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
