she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
