i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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